Australia is a near-perfect country. With lots of beautiful landscapes and a dozen of highly-advanced cities, it's no wonder more and more people chose to trade their boring northern hemisphere lives for a chance to live in the exciting land down under. But when we say Australia is a near-perfect place, the emphasis needs to go to the "near." Because out there, in the Australian beaches, forests, and country roads, there are menaces so scary and dangerous they are going to make you miss your tiny household spiders.
If giant insects, ever-present snakes, and potentially deadly venomous animals are not your thing, you should probably reconsider that scheduled Aussie trip. And if you're a local, well... You better accept the fact that, in Australia, wildlife should be called wilder-life! From spiders as big as a human head to bull-eating pythons, our list of unbelievable pictures will give you a little taste of what it's like to live in the always-surprising land down under.
Unwanted Customer
You have a little Aussie shop where you sell clothes and other items, and life couldn't get any better. It's your precious little share of paradise. But then, out of nowhere, an unwanted customer appears to ruin your day.
No, it's not a rude man, nor even a picky and annoying client. It's a 37-lbs python that's not only scaring your clientele away but also thinking about having you for dinner. Honest Aussie storeowners can't have that, so they kick the enormous snake out and get on with their lives. Just another working day in Australia.
Spiderworld
When you're feeling bored in the land down under, you can always get up early and visit the exciting Spiderworld. In this Australia-only theme park, you get to see what the world would look like if spiders were the ones on the top of the chain. What excitement!
Tickets to Spiderworld are readily available and are 100% free. But before entering, make sure you sign a term of responsibility: deathly scares and spider bites will not result in financial compensation. Spiderworld counts with thousands of locations all over Australia, provided by our hardworking staff of web-building spiders.
When a Kangaroo Looks Better Than You...
In the land of many beaches, there's nothing quite like having a beach-ready body. Many Australian men spend hours at the gym developing their muscles so they can be proud and ready for the Summer season. But no matter how hard they try, this remarkable kangaroo will probably still look better.
With arms that remind us of a young Arnold Schwarzenegger, the kangaroo in the picture was baptized 'Roger' and ended up becoming an Internet celebrity. Sadly, he passed away in 2018, out of old age. To this day, no other weight-lifting kangaroo has ever gotten near "Ripped Roger"'s sheer muscular power and natural charm.
Just Looking At It Is Nerve-Wracking
Australia is arguably one of the best countries in the world to live in. They have stunning natural landscapes, a fair share of vibrant and cosmopolitan cities, and many locals who are always happy to see you. Still, we know we're never going to live in Australia. Why? Allow us to explain it with just one picture.
This terrifying image was uploaded on Reddit, and it's a clear example of what goes on every day at the land down under. We love everything about Australia, but these gigantic spiders that look like they could eat your chihuahua? That's reason enough to flee from the country if you ask us!
Come On, Not There!
It looks like there's nothing sacred in the land down under. It's okay to live in a snake-infested city where pythons fight crocodiles and spiders are as big as a small dog. But this? This is taking things a little bit too far.
If there's a place where every human deserves to be safe and at peace, that place is the toilet. But Australia is not a country for the faint of heart, and not even your pooping time is 100% snake-free. If this happened to us, we would also crush the toilet with a hammer. Not only that, but we would probably end up being constipated for a whole month.
Funky Aussie Slug
Despite all its dangers, Australian wildlife can present us with some remarkable surprises. One of the latest is this neon-pink slug, a one-of-a-kind new animal that was baptized with the "catchy" name 'triboniophorus aff. graeffei' when it was first spotted in 2013. This 8-inch slug is so rare it can only be found in one place: the volcanically erupted mountain of Mount Kaputar.
We know slugs are not the most popular animal around, but even the slug-haters out there need to admit this slug has some style! It looks like a crossover between an Adventure Time cartoon character and a piece of Bubblicious bubblegum.
Australian Frogs Are Shredded!
Outside of the land down under, frogs live near small lakes and rivers and try to avoid problems. But in Australia, frogs either get shredded or get eaten. You don't believe us? Just take a look at this brave frog, who has no issues about getting in a fight with a coastal taipan, an extremely venomous type of snake.
If we had to bet on the outcome of this clash of titans, our money would be on the snake. But in Australia, wildlife has a way of contradicting the odds. In the end, this ripped frog got away as the winner and showed that highly-dangerous snake who's boss!
Brainless Menace
Like most anemones, the dofleinia armata (aka armed anemone) is a brainless and heartless creature, and we mean that in the literal sense! But in Australia, even things without a brain can still be dangerous enough to mess with you.
Besides looking like an H.P. Lovecraft character, the armed anemone is equipped with a nasty poison that will seriously hurt and call for a visit to the doctor. So, if you ever see one of these otherworldly creatures at the beach, don't forget to use your heart and brain and run for your life!
Yes, Australian Trees Can Also Kill You
Believe it or not, this is a pinecone, and that's a regular-sized individual holding it. These amazingly heavy pinecones are the product of the Bunya tree, a fascinating and extremely ancient tree that's typical of Australia. These trees can grow as high as 50 meters while holding tenths of massive cones that can weigh up to 22 pounds!
So, it's just a case of doing the math. Because, as you can imagine, standing near one of these trees for long is a potentially deadly experience. When these heavy cones fall, you better believe they're going to cause some damage! In Australia, people have been hospitalized due to Bunya trees before, and many cars have not survived the pinecone's impact.
One Line on the Horizon
Some afternoons are so hot in Australia that your vision can get blurry, and your senses can be affected by the heat. At first glance, this line on the horizon may look like a long string or even like some sort of sprinklers meant to water the grass.
But when you look closer, you realize just how horrid a common afternoon in the land down under can suddenly get. This super long line on the grass is several snakes following each other. Do you remember the Snake game that used to come with the old Nokia cellphones? Well, this particular snake has just reached level 1,000!
Take the Snake Train
We've mentioned before how fearless Aussie frogs can be. But we didn't expect them to turn a snake into some kind of community train. Tired of jumping around, this group of frogs decided to invent their own type of public transportation, and could it be any more dangerous?
The poor snake seems to have accepted his sad destiny and is giving these quirky frogs the ride of their lifetime! Judging by how happy they are, we would dare say this looks more like the line to the rollercoaster than a train stop.
Makes You Wonder
Stumbling upon this structure has got to make you wonder. Who built it? And what is it for? Well, we have an answer for you. Unbelievably, this is the work of mound-building termites, and it was built throughout generations to serve as their home.
These incredibly complex structures feature an extensive tunnel system that takes complicated architectural concepts like ventilation into consideration. They can take years to build, but the result is totally worth it. We like to think of it as the Great Pyramids of the insect world, even though this type of mounds can be relatively common in places like Australia, Africa, and South America.
WWE Australia
In America, thousands of people gather around to watch two big men fight each other on a ring, usually while wearing tight latex panties. It's called WWE, and it's sports entertainment at its best. But in Australia, the real fights go on every day, at all times, in the nearest forest, swamp, or lake.
These two "wrestlers" don't have cool nicknames nor a compelling back story to their rivalry. But they will fight to the death in a titanic match that makes us happy to be thousands of miles away. And yes, this 13-foot olive python got to eat the whole crocodile in the end.
Don't Get Stoned!
The unbelievably dangerous stonefish is yet another example of Australia being Australia. This poor fish was born with the ugly semblance of a regular stone. But while he's hardly a beauty, he was gifted with the most powerful type of venom the seas have ever seen. And once in a while, the stonefish does like to explore coastal waters and potentially kill barefooted humans.
Stonefishes are the reason why you should never go to the Australian beach barefooted, not even when you're in the water! The stonefish is the most venomous fish known to man, and its powerful poison can kill you in less than two hours.
Oooh, Families Are So Cute!
Seeing the momma duck with all the little ducks going after her is incredibly cute. But why don't we have the same heartwarming reaction when we see a family of spiders on the electric panel?
The obvious answer is: ducks don't appear in your nightmares the same way gigantic spiders do. And if you're ever in Australia and stumble upon this vision of horror, a warm heart is the last thing you'll get! Can you believe each one of these tiny baby spiders will probably grow as big as their momma? When you see this, you know it's time to start looking for a job outside Australia.
Flying... Australian Style
After years of living in Australia, you've decided enough is enough. You have a dreadful fear of snakes, and you're tired of living in a country that has snakes everywhere, from gas stations to toilets! So, you fly away in a Qantas airplane to a new country, where no Aussie snake will ever find you.
But then, you look outside, and there they are. "You thought you were getting rid of us? Think again!" When you're from Australia, snakes are a lifelong curse. And if Muhammad will not go to the snakes, the snakes will come to Muhammad!
Give These Snakes Some Privacy!
The tiger snake is a highly venomous snake species that is relatively common in Australia. If you don't like snakes, you'll never want to see one; and if you do, you should probably stay away from their dangerous fangs anyway.
But for all that's worth, even a dangerous and disgusting crawler like the tiger snake should be entitled to some love. If you see this sign and decide to run for your life, we don't blame you. But if you want to continue, stay away anyway, because these snakes need some steamy private time!
The Killer Beauty
After witnessing so many dreadful encounters between humans and terrifying Australian animals, this beautiful blue-lined octopus is very refreshing. It can be found on the coastal waters of Queensland and New South Wales, and its glowing golden color is stunning and hypnotic.
But before you jump into the Australian sea and start looking out for these beauties, here's something to keep in mind: blue-lined octopus are highly venomous, and their saliva can cause muscle weakness and respiratory failure. Yeah, this person is clearly tempting destiny, but we guess that's not news when you happen to live in Australia, right?
Nevermind the Umbrella; You Need a Bunker!
The brave Gaulish tribe in the Asterix books used to say: the only thing we have to fear is that the sky may fall on our heads. Weirdly enough, that's something you need to look out for when you live in Australia. Because in the land down under, hailstones can get as big as billiards balls!
This storm came directly from hell (or should we say 'hail'?) to torment the poor Aussies, who were already busy enough dealing with all the earthly menaces surrounding them. But while you can always outrun a snake, no umbrella will ever get you out of this violent hailstorm.
Another PR Nightmare
Let's face it: Croc shoes don't need any more bad publicity. This type of shoe has become a meme in recent years, with countless online users claiming it's ugly and tacky. And while that's a matter of opinion, and there's nothing wrong with wearing Crocs, just make sure you're not putting your feet into this particular pair.
You see, you may find Crocs to be tacky, but Australian snakes love to turn them into little nests. So, as you should always do if you live in the land down under, don't forget to check your Crocs for potentially deadly animals!
Real-Life Vampires
Yes, vampires are real, and they live in Australia. Yet, they're nothing like the vampires we see in TV series and scary movies. They're much smaller, cuter, and harmless. This type of bat, prevalent in Australia, is known as the megabat, and it's been roaming the region of Australasia for the past 31 million years.
The megabats may look like bonafide little Draculas, but don't worry, they will not go after your neck. These nightly creatures spend most of their time eating fruit and sleeping upside down. Still, it's probably a good idea not to mess with them.
A Lucky Dingo
Dingos are Australian wild dogs who are brave enough to survive in the area's crazy natural environment. Sometimes, they do get friendly with humans and end up being taken in as pets. But most days, the Dingo is an outlaw, roaming the Australian forests and beaches looking for food.
And is there a better Dingo snack than some ashore shark meat? It's nutritive, probably delicious, and has that irreplaceable top-of-the-chain kind of flavor. With treats like that, why would any Dingo want to be domesticated? This lucky dog is eating the freshest sushi in town!
Bro, Do You Even Lift?
In this great game called life, we play the hand we were dealt with. The Australian python doesn't have arms, claws, or even hands. But it has enough body strength to carry a 44-lbs body around a rocky riverside location.
This impressive animal is known for its tight grip, which can be strong enough to kill a full-grown human. And if that is not scary enough for you, keep in mind pythons can feel the heartbeat of their victims, so they know exactly when they can stop squeezing. We know some pythons make for great pets, but isn't it a little bit like living with the devil?
Morbid Obesity
The tick is not an exclusively Australian plague, but there are plenty of these nasty parasites in the land down under. While a tick is always scary, especially if you find one in your own body, they're particularly gross once they start eating.
And eating is something ticks do remarkably well. They devour their victims' blood and can grow into these morbidly obese monstrosities that boast a vomit-inducing greyish color. You see these crazily-large grey ticks in stray dogs sometimes, and it's hard not to feel sorry for them.
The Price of Gas These Days...
We know all about fossil fuels and their terrible impact on the planet. Still, most of us have no choice but to go to the local gas station and fill up our car tank. But in Australia, a new pro-environment program involving snakes is bound to make consumers less prone to buying gas.
How? Just make sure you have a bunch of snakes living inside the gas pumps. The Aussie drivers will be so scared they will think twice about spending some big bucks on an electric car. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you save the planet the Australian way!
Look What The Ocean Brought!
In Australia, there are plenty of beaches around for you to take long afternoon walks and even look for messages in a bottle. But sometimes, the mysterious waves coming from the island state of Tasmania make for other, weirder things to come ashore.
These two kids spotted what looked like a big puddle of pinkish milk on the beach and decided to check it out. It turns out this alien-like puddle wasn't a puddle at all! In fact, it was a giant jellyfish, so big it even impressed the biologists and scientists who took a good look at it.
Once You See It...
...You can't unsee it. This is the Goliath stick insect, one of Australia's largest stick insects, that can grow up to 9.8 inches. Even though these odd-looking creatures are huge, there's a chance you will not be able to see them; such is their camouflaging ability.
Looking like a mix between a praying mantis and a nice chunk of leek, the Goliath stick insect is a peaceful creature that's all about avoiding unwanted attention. A refreshing personality, considering nearly everything in the land down under seems to have been put there to kill you!
Perfect Fit
We've mentioned before that having snakes in the toilet is a big no-no. But this one looks so cozy in her new nest it will be almost a pity to flush her down the drain. If you'd like to feel better about it, keep in mind this sleepyhead reptile was five minutes away from bitting you where it hurts the most.
Seriously, though, this type of situation should never happen. Imagine if you're in a hurry and running to the toilet to deliver an urgent number two? Imagine if you happen not to look and this snake grabs you? That's game over!
Can Someone Call Crocodile Dundee?
Non-Australians know everything there is to know about crocodiles. We see them in movies all the time, not to mention BBC wildlife documentaries. But looking a 6-meter crocodile in the eye while he's eating a tasty piece of meat, well, that's a feeling only Aussies will ever understand.
Living in the land down under, the Australian people are accustomed to having these types of wildlife encounters all the time. Why would they ever leave the comfort and safety of their homes to venture out in the lake? Maybe they feel like they're Crocodile Dundee! Either way, we'd rather continue to see giant crocodiles in cinemas and televisions only.
Radioactive Spider
Microwaves can leak minimal amounts of radiation. Don't worry; it's not enough to harm people. But does it make it fair to call this not-so-little spider a radioactive one? Maybe we've been watching too many Spider-Man movies, but we're still impressed by the sheer size of this hairy-leggy nightmare.
The doctor keeps telling us to drop off the salty pre-prepared microwave food. But we always thought it was for health reasons! Now that we know how much spiders love microwaves, we've finally found the motivation we needed to start eating more vegetables.