Studies have proven that confident children experience less anxiety and improved academic performance as well as strengthened resilience and better relationships altogether. A lot of parents usually have strategies that they think are building their kid’s confidence. However, some of those can backfire, making children struggle to feel good about themselves. Here are the biggest parenting mistakes that can ultimately crush your kids’ confidence:
Letting them avoid responsibility
Some parents think chores can be stressful for their kids. However, letting them help at home actually helps them grow into responsible citizens. Accomplishing age-appropriate duties can also make them feel a sense of mastery. So let your children help with doing the dishes or taking the trash out. These responsibilities are opportunities for them to see themselves as competent individuals.
Jack Frog/Shutterstock
Blocking them from committing mistakes
Blocking them from committing mistakes
It’s hard to see your kid experience failures in life. However, not letting your kids make mistakes is equivalent to robbing them of the opportunity to learn how to get back up. Don’t go around scolding your kid if they get a few math questions wrong on their quiz, or if they forget their lunch box because blunders can help them develop the mental strength they’ll need to do better in future circumstances.
Shielding them from feeling emotions
You might be tempted to cheer up your children when they’re feeling sad or calm them when they’re mad. But understand that your reaction can have a massive impact on their self-esteem and emotional development. The best thing you can do is to help your children recognize what triggers their emotions and guide them towards self-regulation so that in the future, they can deal with those emotions much easier and in a socially suitable way.
Tolerating victimhood
If you tell your child that they can’t have new shoes like other children because your family is poor, you’re only reinforcing to your child that most of life’s circumstances are beyond their control. Instead of letting your children feel pitiful about a situation, encourage them to think of positive solutions. Children who can recognize that they have choices in life are more confident in their capacity to make something of themselves in the future.
David Pereiras/Shutterstock
Being just plain ol’ overprotective
Being just plain ol’ overprotective
Sure, keeping your kid stuck in a protective bubble saves you from all the anxiety. However, shielding them from trials stunts their development. Always see yourself as a guide and not a protector. Let your kids experience life, even though it’s scary to let go because this allows them to trust their strength when it comes to dealing with whatever life throws their way.
Expecting nothing but perfection
When children are dealt with expectations that are too high, they might feel like they won’t ever be able to measure up, so they might not even try. Just provide them with clear, healthy long-term expectations, like going to college, and help them make short-term goals to get there, like reading and doing their homework.